A few weeks ago I was talking to Dr. Rob Bell, a Sports Psychologist and good friend of mine, about watching athletes who “just can’t get out of their own head.” We have both seen it in the athletes we coach, and sometimes it can be downright painful to watch. There is a downward spiral that occurs when things don’t quite go as expected for an athlete. They start pressing, trying to make too much happen to make up for the minor setback, and end up getting away from their game plan and the things they excel at. This sets them even farther back, so they press harder and get farther away from their skill set.
Sometimes athletes get lost in this cycle and never make it back. Getting in your own head can spell the end of an athlete’s career or stop you from ever tasting the success that they are physically capable of. But it isn’t just athletes that have this happen to them. It can happen to anybody, on any playing field, if you let it. It can happen in your work, your family life, your spirituality – it can happen anywhere.
It is natural to have these limiting self-beliefs, and it’s not limited to being a human condition. Here is an article that Dr. Bell wrote on the subject:
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Mental Helplessness
I asked Archie Manning and Andre Agassi to read my next book and provide testimonials, because they would be perfect for its message to parents. I got through to their agents, they said, “no.” Andre Agassi has denied my request three times now. I hate rejection, check that, my ego hates rejection. Dr. Seuss was rejected 27 times, his ego must not have got in the way.
What takes place in my mind after losing, or getting rejected is that feeling that I’m not good enough. The setback just affirms that belief, “see, here’s the proof.” Gym owner and coach, Tyler Miller, of Force Barbell knows when someone isn’t going to make a certain lift, because their approach to the lift is different.
Feeling helpless is learned. Having limiting beliefs are learned. We set up our own mental barriers about how good we will be.
PIKE syndrome
A study was done with Pike fish in a tank, where they released minnows and watched as the Pike gobbled them up. Then , they placed the minnows inside of a jar so the Pike could not get to it. It still went after it, nailing the glass jar time and time again. After a period of time, the jar was removed and the minnows swam freely, meaning the Pike fish could once again feast…This time, the Pike fish did nothing! It stayed there, and eventually starved to death! The power of nature didn’t allow the fish to survive.
The Pike syndrome has to be at least 10x stronger for us humans.
How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man? – Bob Dylan
Self-imposed limiting beliefs are everywhere. For example, “you’re good, but not that good?” “she’s pretty, but you’re just okay?”
If we are unaware of our identity and our mission, then the limiting beliefs will still arise and keep us from reaching our full potential. It’s a mental tether.
Baby Elephants
As a means of training an elephant, when they are very small, they are tethered by a thick rope to a stake in the ground. As a baby, it lacks the strength to break free, so eventually, it stops trying. Even when the elephant is large enough and could easily break the rope around its leg, it refuses to do so. The massive size of an elephant learned to be helpless.
Dogs & Electric Shocks
Seligman was the first to coin the phrase learned helplessness. I highly recommend his book Authentic Happiness: His experiment with dogs exposed them to electric shocks, in which they could not escape. After the dogs actually had an out and could escape the shocks, just like the elephant and the Pike fish, they did nothing. The dogs had to be physically removed, no amount of rewards, or praise would get them to leave the shocks. They learned helplessness.
If you want it bad enough, you have to BELIEVE. More importantly, we’ll have to go through our own shocks, mental tethers, and glass jars. These are the times of non-belief that determine if we will remain steadfast and eventually break free.
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On the bright side, this learned helplessness is not permanent. If you can learn helplessness, you can – with consistent effort and the right people around you – learn to help yourself.
For more information about Dr. Rob Bell, his books, and services, visit his website www.drrobbell.com[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]