I have been told many times throughout my life that I need to achieve balance. Guidance counselors in high school, coaches, sports psychologists, and academic advisers in college, along with psychologists and therapists from the mental health hospital I worked at after college, plus a mass of Internet self-help gurus. They all tout the many benefits of achieving balance in life.
As a 31-year-old Christian, husband, father, son, brother, friend, mentor, entrepreneur, strength and conditioning coach, and athlete, I find it hard to believe that balance exists for people like me. I think it is a mythical creature, much like a unicorn, a centaur, or the perfect lift.
What is this mythical creature? The idea concept of balance is that you work a little, you play a little, have some family time, have some “me” time, and at the end of the day, you lay your stress-free head down on the pillow for a full 8 hours of sleep so you are well-rested for tomorrow.
This concept works brilliantly if you have enough money to fund the rest of your life, and you can pay people to take care of all the time-consuming tasks that none of us like to do but all of us have to do, like prepare meals, get groceries to prepare those meals, do the laundry, pay the bills, earn money to pay the bills, and so on.
See, people who are “balanced” like this are truly special. And I don’t mean special the same way that your parents told you that you are special. You are special, because you are an individual with the capacity to add value to some other individual’s life, despite not being statistically unique in any way. No offense, but statistically speaking, you aren’t special. In fact, most of us are really average at most of the things we do.
The people who are truly capable of achieving balance are statistically, measurably special. They are in a different tax bracket than you and me, and they have likely maxed out their annual Social Security tax payments by January 2nd.
There is nothing wrong with being you or me. However, all of us have to get the idea that “we are all special,” as perpetuated by our modern society and our parents, out of our heads. This idea has led to a great deal of misunderstanding when it comes to the idea of balance and has brought on a great deal of unhappiness for our generation. Here’s another great article on this subject.
To me, and other “statistically- average” people like myself, balance is something people achieve when they are satisfied. See, balance is defined as the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control, or falling, or maintaining equilibrium, stability, and/or being constant. In other words, to achieve balance means that you don’t want things to change – or in other words, you are satisfied.
I have seen too many “satisfied” people my age who are “comfortable.” They are comfortable in their career, they have a cozy home, and they have have free time to do the things they enjoy. I have also witnessed how miserable they are.
They have achieved balance, or homeostasis, or sameness, but they have become a slave to it. They hate their job, even though it is lucrative and provides for the lifestyle they have chosen to live. They eat and drink all they want, but they hate their bodies and they hate themselves for letting their body get to that point of being “comfortable.” They have very active social lives but hang out with people they can’t stand in order to remain drama-free and maintain status in their circle of friends.
And this is not just something I have witnessed first-hand. Research shows that my generation is largely unhappy. I don’t want to be satisfied or become a slave to my own satisfaction. I don’t want to be the same or do the same things for the rest of my life simply because I enjoyed them at some point in the past. I don’t want to get “comfortable” and be miserable because of it.
I want to constantly break down the barriers of my comfort zone. I want to grow in Christ, and as a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a mentor, a friend, an entrepreneur, and a coach on the cutting edge of my profession.
I don’t want to just achieve balance.
Rather than merely live out some fairy tale “special” existence, I’d prefer to rather work my tail off and do some things I don’t want to do in the process of becoming statistically significant, rather than to merely just live out some fairy tale “special” existence.
I want to reach one more person who has never been loved, and I want to show that person love. I want to provide an opportunity to someone who has never had a chance. I want to achieve great things for my family, my loved ones, and the people I work with and work work for.
Forget about balance, it’s a myth! Time to get to work.